Am I High?

I've been in a weird, psychadelic place today. Is this what magic mushrooms make you feel like? I've been giddy since I took a benadryl in response to an allergic reaction brought on by a sinister, though innocuous, english muffin. Imagine my surprise that there were walnuts listed in the ingredients! All of a sudden that "health nut" label took on a new meaning. What was once a cheery encouragement became a dire advertisement: WARNING! POISON INSIDE.

Ever since then, I've been staggering around, eyes too bright, slurring my words, and nursing a champagne headache without the bubbly stuff, not to mention the three and a half hour mandatory nap that ensued once the medicine kicked in. How can a little dissolving film strip, pretty much an identical sensory experience as a breath mint, cause so much trouble? If I had been operating heavy machinery today, I might have been killed. As it were, other hijinx ensued.

I opened a can of evaporated milk today, fresh purchased from the store. It wasn't until a few disgusting sour clumps plopped onto my special k that I realized it was completely sour. When does that happen?! The whole point of it being evaporated and sealed in a can is to preserve the damn milk! The answer: NEVER. Further proof of a world gone sideways. (You have to be good at reading the signs)

I sat down to watch the end of Larry King and some of 360 with Anderson Cooper, and that's when I really knew I was on the other side of the looking glass: the "mudslinging" in the democratic primary resembles nothing so much as toddlers rolling around in the sandbox. The accusation of plagiarism by Hillary Clinton is both laughable and pitiful. McCain made the unbelievable gaffe of saying "no new taxes" while simultaneously accepting George Bush's endorsement (for someone calling themselves most experienced, he's acting like a rookie). Michelle Obama, feted as God's gift to the position of first lady, is now being attacked on her patriotism. What a wild ride! Someone get me off this merry-go-round before I'm sick!

As I sit before this glowing screen in the dark, blood rushes sluggishly through my body and my tongue feels thick. I am floating through en ephemeral brain fog of the mind. I know my eyes are rolling around in my head, and I am joyfully anticipating the landscape of dreams to follow my head hitting the pillow. There's a perfectly good explanation for all of this -- it's the drugs. But it feels like life. Bring on tomorrow.

Post Theme: Then I Got High by Afroman