Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Billo the Clown Raps!

Ya'll know how much I effing hate Fox News, and of course it's stupid ugly face, Bill O'Reilly (Bill oh really?, billo the clown, bill o'LIEly, etc.), hence I found this vlog by my new hero Jay Smooth @ to be beyond clever. Watch and learn, people.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Never the Two Shall Meet

After Countdown and The Rachel Maddow Show, I have something to say about the separation of church and state: thank God for it! Both Keith and Rachel covered Palin's church, complete with clips of her taking pulpit time to solicit prayers and support for all of her politics, virtually equating her will with God's. There's nothing more mortifying to me than when the world can rightfully convict the Christian community for bad behavior (In many cases it is more people leveraging Christianity's "brand" than actual bible-led disciples.)!

It's so hard to watch secular critique and criticism of my faith. The fact that their ham-fisted swipes strike home many times is a testament to the imperfection of Christians, no matter how well-intentioned. They are a harsh mirror, exposing our human frailties, even as we worship our deity, God made flesh. Somebody turned in church service videos, and bam! Here's Palin soliciting prayer for all her governmental decisions to succeed, uncontested, without input from anyone else, because it's God's will! What a presumptuous... I have no words! This is a familiar feeling... I am reminded of Reverend Wright, another man whose political pulpit set my teeth on edge. Prayer 101: You're not supposed to pray for things to go your way. Hence, Jesus's not my will but thine prayer.

Why aren't we studying and teaching the bible and the practical application of its guiding lessons? How do we have time to postulate on God's plan for global politics? How dare they pretend that He needs our help to get the job done, or beseech His throne for a rubber stamp to our plans? This idiot seems to think that God has to be on America's side because she lives here! Doesn't she and her congregation realize that there are Christians in every nation on earth, people of different races, nationalities, denominations? Thank God for grace to cover this multitude of sins!

As for the "pray the gay away" deal, I am embarassed at this as well. A feel good party for people to justify their homophobia. Sheesh.

For every crazy policy position Palin holds, for every single action, self-serving prayer request, and her herd of political lemmings church congregation, there is a biblical rebuttal using actual scriptural references, in many cases more than one. Ironically, Palin the super saint doesn't seem to have a fondness for scripture (not surprised, people like this never do, and only are angered by scriptural rebuttal).

Rachel had the best point of the night: does Palin believe in a separation between church and state? It's not immediately clear, but she'd better: that's something about the US that's not going to change. Laws are something we decide for ourselves, for the good of all. The bible governs our behavior. Besides, I'm grateful that God transcends politics. He only ever led one nation: the tribes of Israel in the Old testament, and that was essentially a big family. Then they demanded a king, a secular leader. And that was that. Now God has a kingdom, and it includes all of His people. And there's your world unity!

In the end, though, this is all more white noise drowning out the real concern: the issues. What are we to do about this country? Palin's the white noise, let's turn her off!

Post Theme: Ammunition by Switchfoot

Monday, September 8, 2008


Apparently I'm not the only person slogging through angry mob of voices in my head. As a talisman against quitting the struggle and letting them win, this works.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Crazy: Failure to Launch

They say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It's true. I can testify to the fact that the road to my personal hell(destination: Cr@zy!)is paved with my mother's good intentions and her efforts to realize them, each and every single little one, in its entirety, without delay. I am daily splayed upon The Grill -- her critical words, probing questions, fussy rants, and laser-beam stares. I roll around like a gas station frankfurter, trapped, writhing in agony and basting in the juice of knowing that she's never 100% wrong (most times far from it in fact) and therefore cannot be 100% ignored. Tepid small-talk conversation is a a dangerous spelunking adventure -- morphing instantaneously, starting out as an exploratory walk and fracturing into a black shrieking cacophony, like startling a cloud of sleeping bats. I emerge a wreck, barely alive, trembling, tussled, scratched....and smelling of guano. Hence my fear of cavernous conversations.

I live with my mother. There is no nearing escape date. Today, after ironically crowing to some woman after church about great it is to live here (based on how much worse it could be), this is Alcatraz, and I am inmate MXB001, a stranger to freedom.

Everyday, using a secret playbook of henpecking strategies, she is trying to whittle me into an image I cannot see inside myself, maybe her image. I sincerely hope not. Doesn't she realize that I'll inevitably become just like her, and sooner rather than later as I am well past adolescent angst and whinging? It's the law of the universe. I'm not even trying to fight it in the cosmic sense -- that's a losing battle with destiny. But all things should come in their due time, right? It's not my time. Just now it all feels like a reverse prism, like some cold faceted crystal smashing my spectrum into a sterile, bland beam of white.

Frankly, I used to be better at dodging these outrageous daily slings and arrows, but I'm getting tired and suffering them instead. With little endurance left, I am being eroded... slowly unmanned. What is the feminine counterpart for emasculation? I'd like to give this terrible phenomenon a name. It already has a face.

Post Theme: Crazy by Gnarls Barkley

Friday, September 5, 2008

Happy Birthday to Me

I'm really only writing this because I should be writing something... I mean it's my birthday and I should have some statement to make. But curiously, I don't.

This is mainly because of the glaring, gaping chasm between what I am feeling versus what I should be feeling or want to be feeling. The day of one's birth is a day of reflection, like New Year's. I don't like what I'm seeing in this annual mirror; I'd rather it be a day of fun instead. Self-reflection these days is nothing more than a curse of voices in my head. Someone cure me!

Instead of Maya Angelou, I am Edgar Allen Poe, dreary, dark, and sad. It's not how I want to be! It's just what is.

I find myself wondering if anything can pull me out of this funk; right now, if someone showed up to my door with a lottery check with my name on the payee line, would it make a difference? Not immediately (but I could buy some smiles within the hour I bet). This emotional problem has become deeper than circumstance. This is a bottomless pool of melancholy and nameless regrets. Not happy with where I am, not knowing who I am anymore. Fighting to hold on to the me that I want to be, trying not to despise the me that I am forced to be right now. Warring to implement biblical lessons of contentment and joy in reprehensible circumstances. Exorcising worry and fear every minute, bailing out buckets of dark emotion while trying to row against the current. Sinking fast.

It's because I feel completely ineffectual and powerless to effect change in my own life. Out of control, moving nowhere, achieving nothing. What have I done in the past year? Nothing worth writing about! Nothing worth remembering.

Strangely, I feel better now. At least I can pour my secret sadness somewhere.

Happy Birthday to me.

Post Theme: Private Party by India.arie

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Live from the Crab Bucket!


Who the FUCK cares about Obama mentioning Martin Luther King in his nomination acceptance speech?! How is he "running from history"? He's running toward history! And calling Hillary's concession speech incandescent?! Her speech was lame, but clearly all Malveaux heard was Harriet Tubman; she clearly spent her entire time watching the democratic convention holding a score card for mentions of accepted black heroes. How long will they expect Obama to be "the Black people's president"? These people are delusional -- if he was going to mention Dr. king, white supremacy, and Jim Crow in every speech, he wouldn't be accepting the Democratic nomination, he'd be accepting funding for his next research paper as a Af-Am studies professor. Or worse: dimes in his cup as just another scraggly, ignored zealot on the street corner !

And where is this damn "baton" that King passed to Jesse Jackson and then to Obama? How is Jackson in the middle, with his Hymie-town and nut-cracker gaffes? He's not even close to Obama as a black leader in my opinion; Jackson is rhetoric, Obama is LEGISLATION. They need to stop trying to make Obama into a mythical black messiah figure, expecting him to feed black multitudes with a free catfish dinner w/ hush puppies complete with water to wine!

These people don't get what it means to be a biracial person either. (Might I also point out that although Barack is, his father was NOT african-american. His father was African .) You can't erase the fact that he is both black and white, and furthermore that his white relatives raised him and were there for him more than his absent father. And why does the fact that people weren't crying on camera mean to them that people weren't moved? The final night of the convention was electric. West and Malveaux are like those two old-ass white geezer muppets sitting in the balcony on the Muppet Show: same crotchety dialogue, same sticks up their asses...except they aren't funny.

I'm glad there are only 2 comments -- I hope this show is unilaterally ignored; it deserves no ratings. As for Tavis, he has had it out for Obama since Obama missed his little forum at the beginning of the primary. He needs to sit back, keep his mouth shut, and let Obama really give his something to smile about when he wins. We certainly can't afford to take this crap seriously!

However, this certainly does give me something to wonder about for when he takes office. What will this self-appointed cabal of black inquisitioners expect from an ideal Obama presidency? An MLK shout-out in the state of the union address? "Lift Every Voice and Sing" instead of "Hail the Chief"? Slave reparations instead of the promised tax cuts for 95% of us? Preposterous!

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