After the Party

It's 2 am and I'm not tired, so I thought I'd give you the skinny on the Fashion Fair. It was fabulous! The models looked great! The lights, the hair (the weave), the makeup, and the collections. It's the most fashion forward one that I can remember. I'll tell it to you in observations:

a) It's great to have a network! I loved being there, right next to the runway at a reserve table. And attending the VIP party afterwards with the models and all that was stellar.

b) Black people, my people! Ya'll know you be dressing up for the fashion show like it was a church pageant! Not to mention the people that dressed for the red carpet at the Oscars. My absolute favorites though were at one of the runway-side tables across from us. A group of hard-faced older ladies with the worst weaves that I have ever seen -- the cheap ones that look like you put em in the dryer after a week (but people wear them for months)! They were overdressed in tacky formal dresses. A hot mess, I tell ya, but not as bad as the church lady with the white tights sitting in the first row of the glass-fronted balcony with her legs open!

c) There was champagne and liquor at alot of those tables, which I have never before seen. Which is why people were getting loose in the second half...one lady ran up with some money when the men dropped their sarongs and show off those tighty trunks!

d) Speaking of hot guy models, one of the models had four nipples! I kid you not! It's like I'm the only one who noticed!

e) I can't believe how many of the models were tatted up -- girls and guys! I thought it was tacky...

f) They let a person volunteer to walk the catwalk, and of course one of the trifling MILFs trampled the other one getting up there. She walks out, blinking like an owl at the lights, and immediately trips and almost breaks a hip. She would never have left the stage if it she hadn't almost been run over by the REAL models starting up the second half! Maybe she was implanted in the crowd as comic relief.

g) Some white guys whose company was sponsoring were hilarious... they were immobilized by all the black beauty on the runway. I've never seen a man stay frozen like that, like he'd been lobotomized. They were having a mountaintop experience -- especially when the plus sized model walked. Too much sex appeal! The drool pools were creating a walking hazard.

h) In addition to such bumpkinisms as the "volunteer catwalk", "the presentation of plaques", "the greek roll call", and the "old people dignitaries filibuster", there was also the "announcement of the VIP reception, location, and the invitation for EVERYONE to go." That's right. People who paid 50 dollars for their ticket and the reception were now obliged to share the reception with all the people who headed the announcement, and that's exactly what happened. The food got gobbled up, and there weren't enough seats.

i) This did not end the fun, however. I gobbled up my plate of treats (which is currently sitting in my stomach like dog food) and hit the dance floor. I was able to get in the bus stop, cupid shuffle, and a few others before we left. I would still be giving myself shin splints on the dance floor right now if not for my mom telepathically projecting her exhaustion to me; she had to will me off the dance floor.

So here I sit, not even tired, but knowing that this is a complete illusion and that I need to hit the sack as I have an early call in the morning. Good night!

Post Theme: After Party by Koffee Brown

Supermodel!

I can't talk long, I've gotta go... headed to the Ebony Fashion Fair tonight!

I don't have a thing to wear, either, so it's going to take Project Runway-esque last minute creativity, poise, and miracle working to get me fashion forward, with my butt in the seat on time!

Of course, just like any epic battle, there's an arch enemy: the constellation of fiery red zits that appeared on my face the day before yesterday and haven't calmed down yet! On the advice of a good friend (who may prove to be a frenemy if this doesn't work), I have been bathing this area with mouthwash hourly all day. She swears it works and she got the tip from a guy at the MAC counter who she said was whipping the makeup, so I guess it does work!

More on the details of the show and the VIP afterparty when I get back, but for now, it's time for a beauty revolution. Onward christian soldiers!


Post Theme: Work It Girl by Ru Paul

Zulu Ball Tonite!

Going to do the Zulu tonight! I'm bought to get my jocomo fina neh on some too!

Okay, enough Louisiana patois. I frivolously spent the whole day getting ready for a ball. That's right. Deep down south we still do truly formal occasions. I will be attending the 2008 Mardi Gras Ball of the Zulu Krewe! It's my first time, and that's saying something considering I'm New Orleans born and raised. At least I still remember how to get my Nola party on. I can't wait!

Being as poor as I am, I had to fall back on the formal gowns I keep for just such an occasion. I even surprise myself with just how much of a Southern belle I can be. I will be, regretfully attending minus the long gloves and tiara that I am envisioning and will have to make do with the old and borrowed. I am comforting myself by telling myself that I am so NOT the focus of attention, it isn't funny, and no one will be paying me any attention whatsoever. There's the king, queen, and court to be worried about.

I will, however, eat my face off, imbibe too much free liquor, and then dance off the calories to the sound of the famous local DJ Captain Charles, and Doug E. Fresh. Lodi Dodi, do we like to party!!! Maybe I can squeeze an invite to the Nomtoc parade on the West Bank (one of my faves, and I am sure that I can find at least one block party full of old familiar faces). It turns out that the friends I expected to be there won't be here until next week, so if that's a no go, I'll probably be leaving in the morning.

Well, gotta go... the readying for a ball is a long and drawn out process. I must:
1) Give myself a spa mani/pedi. (normally I would just go to a salon, but $$$ is a BIG object)
2) Take a Deluxe Shower. This is the type of shower that wets the windows, even in the room down the hall and hikes up the water bill. I must exfoliate, depilify, and wash and condition my hair. (which, of course looks like a schizophrenic rooster's)
3) Deep condition, spa facial with hair removal.
4) Put on pantyhose and foundation garments.
5) Style hair. Deluxe makeup.
6) Glitter powder on decolletage.
7) Steal best scent in house (no matter who it belongs to) and spritz on.


Wish me luck!