Talkin Bout a revolution: Proud to be an American

As I was watching the Democratic National Convention tonight, I had a totally sobering and honest thought. A thread of conscious consciousness separated itself from the 90+% of me that was paying attention to Gov. Mark Werner, and I realized: I have been far more inclined to be embarrassed to be an American than proud. How debilitating but true! I would never have made the discovery, as I had not ever made a habit of examining my state of allegiance to America. Frankly, I was too busy wrestling with the mandatory bi-cultural identity I needed to develop to survive. I don't mean to make my life out to be some lost episode of Survivor, because I had it really good -- I didn't struggle with being black or being female as a rule until I got exposed to the way other people think, and that didn't happen for me until high school. I was protected; I had quite the blissful childhood. Nevertheless, I never thought of myself as an American first per se. Sounds weird, but I am sure some of my sisters and brothers out there can concur.

My revelation took place not because I suddenly noticed my embarrassment, but because I suddenly felt its complete and utter lack. That is to say, I was suddenly fiercely and unapologetically proud to be an American. Not from a song, a poem, a speech or a flag either. (In fact, corny displays like those often provoke the embarassment.) Not from learning the white man's history lessons, or the African-American version in college.
It was the sight of so many different people, gathered together under one roof and one cause, engaged in the political process, for the purpose of changing this country. It was hearing my own thoughts and feelings echoed by so many people with different accents and ways of living that made me feel like the patch in the American quilt that I truly am. I understood that it was this and only this that had the power to lock me in willingly. I am unable to feel patriotism looking at images of war and destruction, and feel more proud as a black person than an American when I see or hear Obama speak, so I'm sure you can understand the fact that it took this long to make me feel good about it. When I traveled around the world (literally) I could not escape my nationality, but it was less a proud denomination than an albatross. I had seen our global image, heard horrible tales of previous interactions with Americans from during my travels, and saw war-torn countries unable to recoup or rehabilitate after coming into contact with our "war for peace". At those times I would have traded in my American passport for a Canadian one in a heartbeat.

I realize that I am supposed to feel guilt or shame for my admission, but I can't help but feel that it is what it is; I am a generation late to the culturally confused, label-crazy baby boomers, and there is no draft-dodging, protesting, and flag-burning in my past. And so there is no sense of shame, no pointing fingers, no embarassing pictures. It's simply a cloud of identity confusion out of which I've walked today, whole and proud, American and strong. There are people all across this nation who look and think like me, who've been shaped by the same set of circumstances, of values, of faith. They are not all black people, not all women, but they are all Americans. It is to this nation that I proudly belong. That's right: I am claiming this problem-ridden, bloody historied, effed-up foreign policied, racist, classist, age-ist, discriminatory, materialistic, mindless, God-less nation as my own! (My country is a fixer-upper!) And so, today...

I pledge allegiance
to the flag
of the United States of America

and to the Republic
for which it stands
one nation
under God
indivisible
with liberty and justice for all.

Obama/Biden 2008

Post Theme: Talkin Bout a Revolution by Tracy Chapman

So Life Ain't No Crystal Stair... Keep Climbing Anyway!

After such a melancholy post yesterday, you might be worried about more whinging today... congratulations! You've been granted a reprieve. I pretty much did nothing all day, and it was everything that I thought it could be!

Taking a break for a day was really what I needed. I can't believe that I'm stressed enough these days to actually need a vacation from the "job" of looking for a job, but that's the case. Now where am I going to get a ticket to somewhere tropical for five dollars or less without winning the lotto? (Forgive me, it's taking awhile to adjust to the rhythm of being poor; it's been so long)

I saw two great movies today: The Jane Austen Book Club and Death at a Funeral. JA book club is one that I will be sure to buy, for the obvious reason of me being a devoted fan of Miss Austen's, and also because I thought the movie was quite smart, smarter than the book actually (which I have actually never said before -- don't know what's got into me). The way the movie displayed the interaction between Austen's characters and novels and the modern day characters was expert and amusing, and the casual discussion of scintillating opinions between Austen aficianados made me hunger for my old book club days. Ah Bluestockings, how I miss thee! Go see it if you can. I know that it will be making my collection as soon as a dvd purchase is not analogous to a home purchase in my checkbook.


Death at a Funeral is one that I have been hungering to see, as the trailer was included on several movies that I've rented from Netflix over the past months. It was absolutely hysterical and there were several times I had to stuff my sleeve into my mouth or risk bringing down the wrath of all the sleeping family members above stairs. Think big fat black funeral as performed by a British cast full of starched accents. Definitely recommended for fine family fun! Go see it soon!

In other news, is anyone else fatigued of the damn election? Hillary please go home! You're ruining everything, can't you see that? The stupid Democrats are also giving Repugnicans (yep, you read it right, it's not a typo, and if you see it anywhere else on the web they stole it from me) a huge advantage with all the squabbling and fighting. It's clear that the only solution to the Florida-Michigan problem is a complete Do-over, and I wish they would stop stalling on that announcement. Even so, no one is going to get all the delegates that they need to clinch the nomination, so it's going to be an outside decision. I just know that it better be fair! I just can't believe that being silly and non-strategic could lose the election to McCain -- and what a loss! He's unveiled himself as Bush 3.0! It's like updating your crappy 2000 macbook laptop to an original Charles Babbage model T computer. It's not an upgrade obviously! I mean, just take a look to the left -- is that old white guy man love or what? Talk about being in bed together! Is it too much to ask that we leave the old administration behind in its entirety? Let us ask ourselves this question: why is it so hard for America to break up with her exes? First the Bushes and now the Clintons... seems to me like America need to pick up a copy of He's Not That Into You and give it a good read. Bump the chump girl! There's a good man waiting in the wings!!! And once you go Black...

Post Theme: I Gotta Get Thru This by Daniel Bedingfield

A Modern Freedom Struggle

It occurred to me today that it's Black History Month. Duh, right? I should know that, should have realized earlier, should have paid attention to the one month of pseudo-solicitousness that I am entitled to per year. Somehow I missed it.

Last month I attended a certain Sunday morning's services at my parent's uber-traditional Baptist church. I remember being mortified as Sister so and so (complete with hat that could be seen from outer space) asked all the "youth in the church 10 to 15 years old" to stand. She then asked them to come to the front of the church. They slinked forward, barely compliant, disgruntled to be interrupted from their Sunday morning social hour activities of texting, flirting, eating, and other assorted nonsense. The good sister lined them up at the front of the church and shoved a packet of papers into each hand. It turns out that last year's church-sponsored MLK essay contest only got 5 entries, so this year she was obliged to trick and shame them into entering. The essay question: "Has the civil rights struggle and heroes of yesterday influenced your life as a teen today? If so, how?" I was struck by several things at once:

1) What have we come to when the substance of a month of reverence and remembrance is reduced to this? African-Americans have always had a rich culture of oral histories and collective consciousness. We've honored our ancestors through libations and dances, stories and traditions. Now our children, indeed our young adults, can hardly be bothered to remember any but the most "commercial" black figures. You know what I mean: Harriet Tubman, Booker T. Washington, and of course, Martin Luther King. What about the less popular heroes? What about the still living local heroes, scattered in communities across the nation? I have often found it sad that we have not mined and preserved the still living civil rights story being carried in the hearts, minds, and memories of our elderly. Even baby boomers were a part! The crux of the Civil Rights Movement was barely 50 years ago!

2) Why are we still asking the uninspired question, "how has this affected us"? An essay question that boring is asking for nothing beyond a recitation of black history facts and firsts and a few platitudes of gratitude. It is a moot point to ponder, how history has affected us. Why aren't we leading kids to analyze, to think critically? The struggle isn't over. Every day another news blurb proves that the frontier of the struggle is barely explored. What about the inextricably linked aspect of class? What about the rights of other minority ethnic groups in America?

As I watched the church debacle from the fourth row, I felt conflicted. I was happy there was a contest at all, and also happy that someone was passionate enough about it to put in the effort, but I also felt a burning desire to stand up and say something. I wanted to write an essay of my own, give a speech, do something to steer everyone from the rutted, oft-traveled road they were mired in. But I was silent instead. I realized that there was nothing to be done at that point, and I held it all in. I may not be able to affect ironclad Baptist tradition at a church I don't belong to, but I can make a difference in my day to day life, and I can certainly teach all the people I get my hands on differently. And so that is what I am doing.

This Black History month, think differently. Know that Black history is American history. Learn a cool new fact about Black people every day. Watch an edifying "black" movie. Think about the issues in our current cultural paradigm that comprise the current racist or classist problems in America. Set out to pay more attention. You'll begin to notice them everywhere. Lastly, stand up where ever and whenever you can against them. If we all strive to cherish each other, then change gon come sooner rather than later.

Post Theme: Say It Loud (I'm Black and I'm Proud) by James Brown

Rooting for the Underdog

Have no fear, underdog is here! It seems like 2008 just may turn out to be the year of the underdog. I can't help but note two fine, recent examples: Uno the beagle, winner of this year's Westminster Dog Competition, and my favorite candidate, Barack Obama. Both of them have recently raised eyebrows and blown up skirts by leading the pack and whipping the competition's ass, giving a big leg up to "lesser breeds". Their glossy coats, smooth lines, proud stride, and high energy win best in show hands down!

It's so awesome to see the momentum behind Obama's campaign increasing, restoring my faith in Americans as a thinking people!! Could it be that we are disengaging from celebrity gossip, red carpet reviews, and reality tv long enough to turn our attention to the political race of the century? And not a moment too soon. I thought it was the method of the Republicans to steal an election, but apparently not -- recently the Clinton Campaign has made great strides, with the current debacle over Michigan and Florida's delegates and their right to representation at the coming Democratic National Convention. Better pay close attention, America!

I know personally I'd better the see the vote of the American populace count for something, and not be superceded, overruled, or countermanded by some damn superdelegate. What the hell does that even mean? Are you telling me that in the end, my vote doesn't count for anything? We shake our heads in pity at how corrupt and devious other countries' elections are, and the whole time ours are just as rigged, full of rules and contingencies -- a veritable insurance policy against a straight up race for the popular vote. God forbid if the people actually decided free and clear who our leader should be!

And yet... there is hope. Uno and Obama are showing us that all too often there is nothing common about a common breed, whether man or animal. I look forward to the debate next week (nothing more than another type of dog show if you ask me). I'm anxiously anticipating the details for these plans of change that are being promised by all the candidates. I can't help but love watching Hillary, who started off as top dog, bugging out at her losses, pinning her win on the state of Texas, and slinging the first mud in the race.

It is said that no matter who wins these next states, this race for the nomination will be a real prizefight (or should I say dogfight). Some speculate that in the dust cloud of flying fists, McCain could run away with the presidential office. I say that fate couldn't be so cruel as to send Bush III into the fray. I'm rooting for the underdog!

Post Theme: Atomic Dog, by George Clinton and the P-funk Allstars

It's Official! Yes We Can

Why does it seem like my life, as insignificant as it may be on a global scale, is so reflective of our current times? It seems like at this juncture, I am continually skating a cliff side road bordered on crisis. Is the same not true, with our nation, our world? During these times, I know that God is sovereign, but it doesn't stop the maelstrom of thoughts in my head. I am reminded that the Chinese character for crisis is also the one for opportunity. (I'm not even sure that's really true, as I don't read Chinese, but there's something so poignant and wise about it that it doesn't even matter.) And I am comforted by the quiet still voice in my own spirit that rarely speaks, but was heard to say a few weeks earlier: "THIS IS YOUR YEAR." (How does it seem to scream yet be so quiet? That's the nature of God. Simple, yet divinely complex in His simplicity.)

And so, to the American nation, I say: I can't help believe with rising certainty, that this is our year.



I read a great article that started all this called Why Obama Matters. It was a link from a friend's status message on Gmail. A friend that I will always be grateful to. I, like so many in the nation, feel really disenfranchised. It could be a youthful, generation Y thing, but I don't think so. I think that the current government that we live under is non-reflective of the real country in which we live. I believe that it's current voice is not my voice, not our voice, and that we are under-represented. After all, what's the alternative? To believe the opposite? That's enough to send me emigrating to Canada for certain, no joke. If I imagined myself for one minute, even in Mississippi, which I believe to be the very bowels of America, to be surrounded by the kind of smug, supercilious ignorance, and fundamental disregard of human dignity that I see (and hear) every time I watch our leaders on television, I would WALK until I got away from it. No matter how long it took. I would take a Rabbit Proof Fence walk, people. I might end up in Asia. I say all this to say that I was not paying attention to the upcoming presidential election, certain of a few things:
1) that the current dissatisfaction that people are expressing would lead to the certainty of Democrat in office.

2) that I would be picking the Democratic ticket.

3) that therefore my candidate would win.

4) that Hillary Clinton is an equal choice to Obama.

5) that having either a "first woman president" or a "first black president" is enough to prove our desire to progress and our willingness to do so.

All of these are wrong assumptions, and dumb too. Read them carefully and you'll see the problem. These assumptions are ignorant and born of apathy and laziness! (Yeah, I can be really tough on myself can't I?) I was thinking these things because it was the easiest thing for me to do: wait on the world to change while doing nothing to change it, certain that it won't really change and ready to be "surprised" and disappointed. I'm glad that I got shocked out of this, and that I am now rallying. If you change nothing, then nothing changes! (That sounds really good, so I know I couldn't have just made that up...anybody know where that's from originally?)

Recently, there have been some changes in my mindset. I have been convinced over the past few weeks that we need Obama and the grassroots, radical can-do ideas he represents. I am convinced he is the best presidential candidate, bar none. I am convinced that we need out of the baby boomer cultural identity confusion that has been driving our political dialogue and disagreements. I am convinced that the next president needs to be "free" in a way that no one else is. We need no pre-established political machinery, no network of secret contacts, lobbies, and scorecards of favors owed and favors due. I am convinced we need to do immediate and effective diplomatic damage control in our relationships with other nations. We also need a shocking, undeniable statement of our LACK of racist, religious, and/or sectarian agenda (even if that's not exactly true... yet). What better way than a black man with a Muslim name? Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to reduce Obama to only that, although God knows he must be used to it and get it a lot as do I as a black woman in America. I just mean that he is refreshing: the face, the name, the family, the religious outlook, the policies, the lack of scandal, the prospective plans. THE POTENTIAL. THE HOPE.

As I walk towards a time of triumph and radical change in my personal life, I pray that my country would too. I know that I am on my way out of a valley, and We, the People, can and should do the same. Get out and vote, and make it happen. Barack the Vote, 2008!