Talkin Bout a revolution: Proud to be an American

As I was watching the Democratic National Convention tonight, I had a totally sobering and honest thought. A thread of conscious consciousness separated itself from the 90+% of me that was paying attention to Gov. Mark Werner, and I realized: I have been far more inclined to be embarrassed to be an American than proud. How debilitating but true! I would never have made the discovery, as I had not ever made a habit of examining my state of allegiance to America. Frankly, I was too busy wrestling with the mandatory bi-cultural identity I needed to develop to survive. I don't mean to make my life out to be some lost episode of Survivor, because I had it really good -- I didn't struggle with being black or being female as a rule until I got exposed to the way other people think, and that didn't happen for me until high school. I was protected; I had quite the blissful childhood. Nevertheless, I never thought of myself as an American first per se. Sounds weird, but I am sure some of my sisters and brothers out there can concur.

My revelation took place not because I suddenly noticed my embarrassment, but because I suddenly felt its complete and utter lack. That is to say, I was suddenly fiercely and unapologetically proud to be an American. Not from a song, a poem, a speech or a flag either. (In fact, corny displays like those often provoke the embarassment.) Not from learning the white man's history lessons, or the African-American version in college.
It was the sight of so many different people, gathered together under one roof and one cause, engaged in the political process, for the purpose of changing this country. It was hearing my own thoughts and feelings echoed by so many people with different accents and ways of living that made me feel like the patch in the American quilt that I truly am. I understood that it was this and only this that had the power to lock me in willingly. I am unable to feel patriotism looking at images of war and destruction, and feel more proud as a black person than an American when I see or hear Obama speak, so I'm sure you can understand the fact that it took this long to make me feel good about it. When I traveled around the world (literally) I could not escape my nationality, but it was less a proud denomination than an albatross. I had seen our global image, heard horrible tales of previous interactions with Americans from during my travels, and saw war-torn countries unable to recoup or rehabilitate after coming into contact with our "war for peace". At those times I would have traded in my American passport for a Canadian one in a heartbeat.

I realize that I am supposed to feel guilt or shame for my admission, but I can't help but feel that it is what it is; I am a generation late to the culturally confused, label-crazy baby boomers, and there is no draft-dodging, protesting, and flag-burning in my past. And so there is no sense of shame, no pointing fingers, no embarassing pictures. It's simply a cloud of identity confusion out of which I've walked today, whole and proud, American and strong. There are people all across this nation who look and think like me, who've been shaped by the same set of circumstances, of values, of faith. They are not all black people, not all women, but they are all Americans. It is to this nation that I proudly belong. That's right: I am claiming this problem-ridden, bloody historied, effed-up foreign policied, racist, classist, age-ist, discriminatory, materialistic, mindless, God-less nation as my own! (My country is a fixer-upper!) And so, today...

I pledge allegiance
to the flag
of the United States of America

and to the Republic
for which it stands
one nation
under God
indivisible
with liberty and justice for all.

Obama/Biden 2008

Post Theme: Talkin Bout a Revolution by Tracy Chapman

It's Official! Yes We Can

Why does it seem like my life, as insignificant as it may be on a global scale, is so reflective of our current times? It seems like at this juncture, I am continually skating a cliff side road bordered on crisis. Is the same not true, with our nation, our world? During these times, I know that God is sovereign, but it doesn't stop the maelstrom of thoughts in my head. I am reminded that the Chinese character for crisis is also the one for opportunity. (I'm not even sure that's really true, as I don't read Chinese, but there's something so poignant and wise about it that it doesn't even matter.) And I am comforted by the quiet still voice in my own spirit that rarely speaks, but was heard to say a few weeks earlier: "THIS IS YOUR YEAR." (How does it seem to scream yet be so quiet? That's the nature of God. Simple, yet divinely complex in His simplicity.)

And so, to the American nation, I say: I can't help believe with rising certainty, that this is our year.



I read a great article that started all this called Why Obama Matters. It was a link from a friend's status message on Gmail. A friend that I will always be grateful to. I, like so many in the nation, feel really disenfranchised. It could be a youthful, generation Y thing, but I don't think so. I think that the current government that we live under is non-reflective of the real country in which we live. I believe that it's current voice is not my voice, not our voice, and that we are under-represented. After all, what's the alternative? To believe the opposite? That's enough to send me emigrating to Canada for certain, no joke. If I imagined myself for one minute, even in Mississippi, which I believe to be the very bowels of America, to be surrounded by the kind of smug, supercilious ignorance, and fundamental disregard of human dignity that I see (and hear) every time I watch our leaders on television, I would WALK until I got away from it. No matter how long it took. I would take a Rabbit Proof Fence walk, people. I might end up in Asia. I say all this to say that I was not paying attention to the upcoming presidential election, certain of a few things:
1) that the current dissatisfaction that people are expressing would lead to the certainty of Democrat in office.

2) that I would be picking the Democratic ticket.

3) that therefore my candidate would win.

4) that Hillary Clinton is an equal choice to Obama.

5) that having either a "first woman president" or a "first black president" is enough to prove our desire to progress and our willingness to do so.

All of these are wrong assumptions, and dumb too. Read them carefully and you'll see the problem. These assumptions are ignorant and born of apathy and laziness! (Yeah, I can be really tough on myself can't I?) I was thinking these things because it was the easiest thing for me to do: wait on the world to change while doing nothing to change it, certain that it won't really change and ready to be "surprised" and disappointed. I'm glad that I got shocked out of this, and that I am now rallying. If you change nothing, then nothing changes! (That sounds really good, so I know I couldn't have just made that up...anybody know where that's from originally?)

Recently, there have been some changes in my mindset. I have been convinced over the past few weeks that we need Obama and the grassroots, radical can-do ideas he represents. I am convinced he is the best presidential candidate, bar none. I am convinced that we need out of the baby boomer cultural identity confusion that has been driving our political dialogue and disagreements. I am convinced that the next president needs to be "free" in a way that no one else is. We need no pre-established political machinery, no network of secret contacts, lobbies, and scorecards of favors owed and favors due. I am convinced we need to do immediate and effective diplomatic damage control in our relationships with other nations. We also need a shocking, undeniable statement of our LACK of racist, religious, and/or sectarian agenda (even if that's not exactly true... yet). What better way than a black man with a Muslim name? Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to reduce Obama to only that, although God knows he must be used to it and get it a lot as do I as a black woman in America. I just mean that he is refreshing: the face, the name, the family, the religious outlook, the policies, the lack of scandal, the prospective plans. THE POTENTIAL. THE HOPE.

As I walk towards a time of triumph and radical change in my personal life, I pray that my country would too. I know that I am on my way out of a valley, and We, the People, can and should do the same. Get out and vote, and make it happen. Barack the Vote, 2008!