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Saturday, February 28, 2009

Malaise

I should be working on my novel but instead I'm doing this... filled with malaise today. I'm blaming it on my monthly.

So much has happened since the last time I've written, but I'm not in the mood for one of those long posts that chronicles everything that happens in my life. Suffice it to say that there have been a lot of changes big and small, internal and external. Points of light on the horizon so to speak.

I've begun meditating on change -- working through this current nasty job struggle change, and moving into positive change, like finishing my novel, paying my bills, dating someone nice, etc. I had been thriving on the feeling of control, of having changed on the inside, but today I am impatient and anxious.... AGAIN.

Getting a little weary of the emotional rollercoaster, and a lot weary of my "lot in life", but how to break free? I am very well aware of the fact that I am moments away from something wonderful, from breakthrough, but lacking the power now for the final push. I haven't even really helped myself by writing this, but at least I can check something off of my lengthy to do list!

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